In the article 2, we distinguished dissolving the problem as follows: The second way is to take the approach of ‘dissolving the problem’. In dissolving the problem, you don’t try to solve the problem. You embrace the problem. It is about looking at the problem differently and realizing that the problem is not in what is happening to us but how we react to what is happening to us.

To summarize an important aspect of stress that we distinguished in article 2, is that Stress and anxiety is created by our interpretation of the event. What is amazing is that we get affected not only by the actual event e.g. a car accident, but we can also get affected merely by our imagination of the accident or if we have had a bad dream. Dealing with this stress becomes critical and it helps us to move further in life. In short, they do have their place. They push us to make necessary changes in our lives. They signal when we may be in danger, and inspire us to take action to get ourselves out of danger. (This danger can be any type of threat to our physical or emotional well-being, from not doing well on a test to losing a job to losing a friend.) In this way, feelings of stress and anxiety are healthy and necessary; without them, we may not act in our own best interest.

How Much Stress and Anxiety is Too Much?

The point at which worry and anxiety become unhealthy is when they stop pushing us to act. This can either be because we are worried about things that are not under our control or that have not happened yet, or because we are immobilized by the stress and anxiety we feel, rather than being inspired to act. Whatever the reason, this worry and anxiety can cause a lot of stress on our minds and bodies, and affect our health.

Lets come back to the method of Dissolving stress.

But first thing first. Here is a promise: The understanding that you will get out of these distinctions has the power to shift your life extra-ordinarily, provided you will listen to it. And I mean, LISTEN to it.

The best way to listen to life or for that matter, anybody or anything else, is not by submitting or giving in to the speaker. You may do so if the speaker is your spiritual guide or guru. Here you will need to give up (your own speaking) rather than give in.

What does this mean – give up your own speaking???

This means to try and listen to what is being said, rather than what you think or believe, is being said or spoken. I hope you have already listened to what I mean.

To go a step further, consider what Stephen covey has to say in his book, ‘7 habits of highly effective people’ where he emphasizes that the ‘change’ will occur if the approach is inside out first. And therefore, the first step would be to control the little voice that is inside us.

What is Little Voice???

The little voice is something that is constantly talking to us, advising us, admonishing us, and dominating us. The little voice, which has been created by our past, our experiences, our successes and more often, our failures. The little voice is a great asset, provided we know when to listen to it and when not to. But our current problem is that we do not even know that we have this little voice, and that we are almost the slave of it. The first step is to be free of this little but very controlling voice that generates all our interpretations as if they are facts, they are the future and, sadly, your predetermined destiny.

Now you may ask, what has all this to do with my stress? The answer is ‘Everything’.

The next series of articles will focus on the following distinctions. Not the definitions. The definitions define but they are close ended. They do not allow further explorations, deeper interpretations, and unknown creations.

Distinction between Fact and interpretation

Distinction between Thought and Thinking

Distinction between Knowledge and Experience

Distinction between Reaction and Pro-action

Distinction between Blame, Guilt v/s Responsibility

Distinction Whole, Complete and Joyous v/s Not good enough

Once we get through the above, it will provide us with the necessary arsenal to deal with stress, nay, get the distinction that having stress in life is not at all stressful. In fact, it is the necessary ingredient for a life that is full of opportunities, passion and blessings.

As you must have noticed, this article is very different from the academic articles on stress. Since the purpose of this article is to enable you to take action in your life, I have put the ‘understanding’ dimension in the appendix. You may refer to it in the appendix section to get the definition, causes, symptoms and the tips that generally help you to tackle stress on a band-aid basis.